First, I owe you an apology.
This week's issue is a bit late. If you've been reading The Reprieve for a while, you know that seldom happens. Normally, missing a deadline would drive me crazy. However, over the last several weeks I’ve been putting the finishing touches on something I've wanted to build for years, and today it's finally ready!
But before I give you the good stuff, let me tell you about one of the things that has inspired me along this journey.
I was talking with a friend whose parents are healthy, independent, and still living life on their own terms. She isn't a caregiver currently, but it is of course possible in the future, and during our conversation, she asked me one simple question:
"I have been wondering if I should be doing anything now, before something happens?"
That question brought me back to when I had that same question, that same feeling. My gut was telling me to prepare. And I listened.
Years before my father was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, I was able to convince my parents to meet with an elder law attorney. Together we put a few important things in place: Power of Attorney, Healthcare Proxies, basic wills, and even a burial trust. At the time, it felt like one of those conversations families tend to avoid because nobody wants to imagine needing those documents. Looking back, it was one of the best decisions we ever made.
When my father was diagnosed, I realized just how much those conversations had protected us. A Power of Attorney and a Healthcare Proxy can only be signed while someone still has the legal capacity to understand what they're signing. Once Alzheimer's or another form of dementia progresses beyond that point, those options disappear. Families are often left petitioning the court for guardianship, a process that can take months, cost thousands of dollars, and unfold while they're already trying to manage a medical crisis.
Because we planned ahead, I never had to fight those battles. When it was time to sell my parents' home, I could sign the paperwork. When banks needed authorization, I already had it. I was able to work with Social Security, manage my father's pension, speak with insurance companies, and make the countless legal and financial decisions that caregiving eventually requires.
The paperwork didn't make Alzheimer's easier.
It made everything around Alzheimer's possible.
After I finished telling my friend all of this, I realized something. I had an answer because I'd lived it. A lot of people don't have someone they can call who's already walked this road. Instead, they open Google, end up with a dozen browser tabs, read conflicting advice, or post a question in a Facebook group only to receive hundreds of answers that often contradict each other. When you're already overwhelmed, the last thing you need is more noise.
That's the problem I've been trying to solve.
So, over the last several months, I've been building something I'd always wished had existed when I was caregiving.
Her name is Dara.
Dara was designed to help you figure out what comes next. I designed her so that you don't have to know the right terminology or understand the healthcare system before you ask a question. You don't even have to know what question you're supposed to ask. Just tell her what's happening, such as:
"My mom was just diagnosed with dementia."
"My dad fell."
"I need respite care."
"I don't know what to do next."
From there, Dara helps you identify your next step and connects you with information and local resources that apply to your situation. The goal is not to ever replace experts or professionals. The goal is to eliminate that overwhelming feeling of not knowing where to begin.
I've spent years wishing something like this existed. Eventually, I realized I was going to have to build it myself.
Today is the very first day Dara is available, and while I'm incredibly proud of what she's already able to do, there is always room for improvement. The best ideas grow because the people using them aren't afraid to say, "This worked," or, "I wish it did this instead."
That's where I need your help.
I built Dara for caregivers. I built her for my friends, my family, and for the daughter sitting in a hospital parking lot wondering what she's supposed to do next. I built her for the husband trying to find respite care after everyone else has gone to bed, and for the son who just wants one clear answer instead of five thousand conflicting opinions in a Facebook group.
As you use Dara, you'll see places where you can send me feedback, like a thumbs up that the information she gave was helpful or a link to email me directly. I encourage you to use them and tell me what made sense, what didn't, what frustrated you, and what you wish she'd been able to answer more clearly. This is going to be an iterative process because caregiving is always changing, and the best way to make Dara better is by learning from the people she's meant to help.
Every improvement we make won't just help you. It will help the next caregiver who asks the same question tomorrow, next month, or next year. That's always been the mission. Not to build another piece of technology, but to make sure fewer families have to learn everything the hard way.
If you'd like to meet Dara, I'd be honored to introduce you.
→ Click the image to meet and try Dara
Before You Go...
If you know someone who might need Dara, even if they don't realize they need her yet, I would be honored if you share this issue with them. The best recommendations have always come from one caregiver saying to another, "This helped me. I think it might help you too." That's exactly how I hope Dara grows.
Thank you for your patience this week. More importantly, thank you for being the community that inspired this in the first place. I truly can't wait to hear what you think.
With you,
Tahnya
Founder of TAHN & Co.
Author of Blurred
